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The (Non-Existent) Marketing Formula

Johnny Molson


Welcome to the intersection of faith and fact.

The messy truth of marketing is this: If there were a formula, everyone would be using it. You would simply plug a number into a spreadsheet, and *poof,* you have a formula. The marketing line in your budget often confounds accountants for this reason. How can you spend money and not know the exact return on your investment?

Welcome to the intersection of faith and fact. The blurry line between finesse and solidity. Poets and quants.

The world is fuzzy. The factors that will impact your marketing are almost infinite.

  • Did it rain on the day of your sale?
  • Did a competitor suddenly start a massive ad campaign?
  • Did 60 Minutes do an expose on fraud in your business?
  • Did your receptionist honk-off a good customer (the one who knows everybody)?
  • Did your logoed truck run a red light and almost take out a school bus?
  • Did a tree grow over your sign so nobody can see it from the road?

Fuzzy. And, yeah, it does matter. Every business is as different as a fingerprint. And every marketplace is just as different. But, there are things in your control.

  • Know your customer.
  • Have a strategy.
  • Have a tight, bold message.
  • Be nimble, but do not veer off course.
  • Clean your restroom (freakishly more important than you might think).
  • Stay out of the mud.
  • Know your customer. Climb around in their hearts.
  • Speak like a warm person. Not a chilly business.
  • Be ready to mix the qualitative and the quantitative. Too much of one is poison.

I cannot tell you to “take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” That usually works… but, then again, who knows? I can tell you to eat your fruits and vegetables. I know roughly how many calories you might need. Too much booze will kill you, but a glass of wine in the evening is probably fine.

I don’t know if you’ll win. But, I believe you have an amazing story to tell… and I think you should tell it.

Johnny Molson

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